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Gaining the Technology Leadership Edge, Episode #130

How to Build a Tech Team That Doesn’t Need Constant Approval

Show Notes

About the Guest(s):

Marnie Stockman and Nick Coniglio are seasoned operators with robust experience in the technology sector. Together, they built and successfully sold a software business. Now, Marnie and Nick dedicate their expertise to teaching pragmatic leadership strategies that are effective even under pressure. Marnie has a background in education and was a high school math teacher before becoming a CEO. Nick has extensive experience in technology roles, having held key positions in engineering and support within companies where he was often among the first employees, driving significant growth.

Episode Summary:

In this inaugural episode of the new season of “Technology Leadership Edge,” host Mike delves into the persistent challenge of leaders becoming the central hub for all decisions within their teams. Joined by guests Marnie Stockman and Nick Coniglio, both experienced leaders who have transitioned from building and selling their own software business to teaching leadership skills, the episode examines the critical theme of reducing dependency without lowering standards. This episode promises valuable insights for CTOs and technology leaders by exploring the kinds of leadership behaviors and systems that inadvertently create dependency.

The discussion sheds light on balancing encouragement and problem-solving, identifying patterns that contribute to bottlenecks, and the common misconceptions between being supportive and available. Marnie and Nick share their first-hand experiences of how their roles as accidental leaders often led to becoming bottlenecks themselves and discuss strategies that can effectively mitigate such challenges. By emphasizing the importance of asking the right questions and understanding the why behind tasks, leaders can instill a culture of ownership and trust within their teams. The episode serves as a pragmatic guide towards developing leadership systems that empower team members while alleviating the decision load on senior leaders.

Key Takeaways:

  • Balancing optimism with problem-solving is crucial in preventing leadership from becoming a bottleneck.
  • Identifying and understanding the why behind projects can strengthen the team’s motivation and purpose.
  • Building leadership systems focused on soft skills and trust enables teams to make decisions more independently.
  • Documentation and the delegation of decision-making increase scalability and reduce dependency on a single leader.
  • Developing personal projects can allow leaders to fulfill their technical passions without compromising their leadership roles.

Notable Quotes:

  1. “Leadership is all about helping the person, the company, the client in front of you become their best version and solve their problems.” – Marnie Stockman
  2. “Skills can be learned, but what people don’t have an easy way to grasp is the soft skills, the character skills.” – Nick Coniglio
  3. “You’re one of those who like, if you want it done right, you want to do it yourself, but that’s not going to scale.” – Marnie Stockman
  4. “You just need to understand how to ask the right questions and identify opportunities, identify risks, concerns, vulnerabilities.” – Nick Coniglio
  5. “I think a lot of leaders, they think that they need time management when the real issue is that they have unmanaged decision loads.” – Mike

Resources:

  • Marnie Stockman and Nick Coniglio’s Book: “The Business of You” on Amazon
  • App: Mention of an app being built, reflecting their continued engagement in tech solutions.
  • Leadership Quiz: The Firefighter CTO quiz, designed to help leaders identify and address dependency issues within their teams.

Listen to the full episode to discover insightful strategies for redefining leadership roles in technology. Keep following the “Technology Leadership Edge” podcast for more episodes packed with expert advice and transformative insights.

Watch Episode #130 on YouTube

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Episode Details

Unlocking Independence: How Senior Leaders Can Reduce Dependency Without Lowering Standards

Key Takeaways

  • Understanding the Challenge: Senior leaders often become bottlenecks by holding too much knowledge and making all key decisions.
  • Empowering Teams: Leaders should focus on developing both technical and soft skills within their teams to promote independent decision-making.
  • Redefining Leadership Roles: Moving from a centralized command model to a scalable, supportive leadership approach allows for better scalability and team autonomy.

Becoming the Bottleneck: How Leaders Create Dependency

Leaders at the top of their game often struggle with a paradoxical challenge: they become the bottlenecks in their organizations. As Mike, Marnie, and Nick explore in their insightful discussion, leaders often find that “everything comes back through them,” creating a stifling dependency within their teams. But why does this happen?

According to Nick, a significant contributor is the retention of “institutional knowledge.” As he puts it, “In each one of those companies, I had so much institutional knowledge, and I became so much of a bottleneck.” This retention of knowledge often stems from a habit many leaders fall into: wanting to handle all issues personally, especially if they have a track record of success in problem-solving.

Yet, this well-intentioned approach inadvertently trains teams to fold under pressure rather than rise to challenges autonomously. Marnie reflects on this as causing “admiring the problem without getting to a solution,” where the act of identifying problems overshadows the urgency to tackle them effectively.

Building a Self-Reliant Team: Emphasizing Soft Skills

While technical skills are essential, Nick and Marnie emphasize the vital role of soft skills in fostering a capable and independent team. Nick explains, “You really need to focus on the softer side, the soft skills to teach people how to communicate, how to be vulnerable, to show trust, to create a trustworthy environment.” By valuing communication and trust, teams are more equipped to handle issues without direct oversight from their leaders.

Marnie supports this by noting the importance of sharing the “big why” with engineering teams. She recounts the impact of connecting engineers directly with the customer story, which led them to understand and value their contributions more deeply. “The engineers really liked seeing the value that people were getting from what they were doing,” Marnie says. This connection inspires a sense of purpose, which is crucial for any high-performing, independent team.

Effective leaders therefore must prioritize these elements when building their teams. Only through strength in both technical and soft skills can a team operate autonomously and thrive.

Transitioning from Control to Guidance: Changing Leadership Mindsets

Senior leaders often rise to their role due to their problem-solving prowess. However, as they step into leadership, the skills that got them this far can hold them back. Leaders must evolve from being the hero with all the answers to the mentor guiding the process.

Nick shares a valuable introspective shift: “I love fixing things… But what I learned… is that I was creating a bottleneck.” The answer wasn’t more control; it lay in guiding others, a transition supported by changing how questions are asked. Marnie shares a transformational moment with her team member: “What are you thinking you should do?” This question forces ownership back to the individual, fostering an atmosphere where team members feel empowered to decide and act independently.

By redefining their roles from supervisors to enablers, leaders break the dependency cycle. When leaders focus on mentors rather than decision-makers, they foster empowerment within their teams, which in turn enhances organizational scalability.


As Marnie and Nick’s insights reveal, the journey from creating dependency to fostering independence within a team requires intentional transformation. Leaders must proactively identify what they alone can do, then intentionally work towards distributing this knowledge and capability across their teams. This approach not only relieves leaders from being bottlenecks but also cultivates an environment of trust, growth, and innovation. By doing so, leaders position their companies to thrive, fostering self-sufficient teams that meet high standards independently.

Contact Information for Marnie Stockman & Nick Coniglio

LinkedIn: Marnie Stockman
LinkedIn: Nick Coniglio

Timestamp Summary
0:00 Breaking Dependency Without Lowering Standards in Leadership
4:50 The Importance of Soft Skills and Understanding the Why
10:57 Letting Go of Hero Habits in Leadership Roles
13:06 Leadership Challenges: Balancing Expertise and Delegation for Growth
21:14 Teaching Kids to Cook Through Patience and Practice
21:31 Empowering Teams by Encouraging Independent Decision-Making
25:15 Empowering Teams Through Ownership and Soft Skills Development
30:24 Redesigning Leadership Systems to Avoid Dependency